I am officially halfway through my first semester. While I should be sighing in relief, I am really feeling the pressure to make sure my grades improve. Anyway I really want to get into the body, the purpose, of this blog. I'm going to apologize in advance if this blog isn't as encouraging as it should be, but this blog's purpose is for me to really track how far I have come in such a short amount of time.
When my parents dropped me off here on August 18, everything in my world was perfect. I was so happy that my dreams were finally coming true. I had just completed what was definitely the best summer of my life at Deer Run, and I was so ready to start my college career at A&M.
Little did I know just how hard the Devil was going to try to get me down, and how hard he still is trying.
I came to college in a knee brace for a sprained MCL, and I had to wait a long week for the doctor to simply call and tell me that my knee was still showing severe bruising. In short my knee needed time to heal, but little did my doctor know that I lived on the 4th floor and had a 15 minute walk to every class on campus. I prayed for healing, and had close friends pray that my knee would somehow heal even when it couldn't "rest" and the Lord was faithful; my knee has healed.
One week after being dropped off, I received some bad news from my mom about my pawpaw. For some background, I have an EXTREMELY close relationship with my grandparents. When I lived at home, I made a point to go over to their house and visit with them as often as I could. My Thursdays spring semester of my senior year, were actually devoted to fishing trips with them, and then a home cooked meal. Those Thursdays were such a blessing and we grew extremely close. One week after my parents left, I received the news that my pawpaw was going to have surgery to remove what could possibly be melanoma cancer off of his eyelid. My heart sunk, and it was all I could do not to go home for the surgery. I won't lie, it was all I could do not to drive home and comfort my hurting family. But, as sad as I was, I knew that this situation could not get me down. I had to rejoice in this suffering, and I am so thankful that I did. The Lord is faithful, and through constant prayer, he took care of my pawpaw through surgery. My pawpaw has no signs of melanoma and that is such a blessing. His health still concerns me, but I refuse to let the Devil use this to get me down. I can stay here at A&M, pray, and be as much of an encouragement to them as I would be there with them. Prayers for his health would be appreciated still today.
The reasons go on. My great-grandmother, Grandma Mills, will be turning 99 next month. For the past 6 years she has fought a number of health related battles, and to be honest, I'm not quite sure how she has made it this far. After going home this weekend, I learned that she is truly deteriorating. I am at peace with this solution, because she has lived a long life. Her time has been meaningful, and I know that her time to go looms. I ask for prayers for my grandparents as they wake up and take care of her every day. Be with them in encouragement, because this situation weighs on them daily.
School. Oh my goodness. A&M is hard, way hard. I have been studying, and going to SI sessions, but you wouldn't think it based on some of my first round test grades. Yet, my difficulty in school is not enough for me to give up and quit. Sure I'm not making as high grades as other college students as smaller schools closer to home, but I AM going to one of the largest and most academically challenging universities in the nation. That alone makes it worth it. Well that, plus the fact that I'll have a little chunk of gold on my right hand one day. The Devil is attempting to use my bad grades as a way to depress me, as a way to make me feel like I'm not intelligent enough, or that I don't belong here. He won't win though, because I know God has bigger plans for me.
Health. I've been sick a majority of my time here. The reason: my body can't adjust to the allergens in College Station. I know, it's crazy. My sinus, and congestion problems are taking a toll on my body. Not to mention that I need rest, but what's that in college? My doctor's diagnosis was a hit in the gut, because what am I supposed to do if my body can't adjust to the town I'm living in, move? Absolutely not. I will be praying about this situation, and I pray that my body will adjust. I am completely confident that God will fix this situation; it just takes time.
As I said earlier, I'm sorry if this blog is depressing. It's title 10,000 Reasons, is how I feel the Devil is working on me. He is trying in so many ways to get a foothold, a way to pull me down. He won't succeed, because even in these hardships I know God is greater. God is bigger than this world. The Bible tells us that living in the world won't be easy, and good I'm glad! If it was, would we honestly appreciate our reward: an eternity in Heaven?! No, we wouldn't. So I look at these hardships as a blessing. Some just call it adjusting to college, but I won't call it that. I've adjusted faster than I thought, but these hardships are the Devil's way of trying to pull me back home. He won't win, because through these hardships, I have also reaped many blessings. I'm surviving my chemistry class, and I'm making an A. I've realized that I can go to Medical School, and my approach to make myself a competitive applicant will be my involvement in the Lord's work. I'm involved in AFC (Aggies For Christ) which has given me more opportunities than I've ever had. I work with inner-city kids on Sundays, and that challenge alone has been a blessing. The newest addition to this list is the fact that this Christmas Break I'm going to Nicaragua for ten days. Yes, it's the break and I should want to rest and be with my family. No, I've been called to serve God's kingdom by helping children in Nicaragua. I'm so excited about this adventure, yet so anxiously nervous at the same time.
All of this has been said to prove the point that the Devil and the world will give you 10,000 reasons to get down in this life. But for every blessing, it's more than worth it. My college experience this far has been great. I am so blessed to have new friends and I am so thankful for every opportunity that arises for me to get involved here at A&M. I've learned to take every day, just by that. Day by day, rather than stressing myself thinking of next week. My time here is just beginning, and I am so glad that I have so much more time here. I know I'll face many more challenges, but like I said a single blessing is so much more to be than 10,000 hardships.
Be blessed this week, and don't give up. Keep your eyes on the goal, and together we'll make it.
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