Satan Can't Touch This

I have done a terrible job keeping my blog up to date this summer. I realized just this week that we are halfway done with the summer. It never ceases to amaze me just how quickly time flies out in the piney woods.

Coming back to Camp Deer Run for a 5th summer was a no brainer for me. There is nowhere else I would rather be the summer before I begin nursing school than in these holy woods. God's presence is so easily felt here, and I knew without doubt that God had called me back for a special purpose.

As I have said many times before, every summer is unique. As a 5th year staff member, I am "incredibly old in Deer Run years." The majority of the staff is 18-19 years old, so at a whopping 22 years old and as a college graduate, I am definitely the grandma. However, I love my grandma status, and will gladly keep it if it means more time out here.

This summer has been very different, but very special to me. As the Head Women's Counselor for the second year in a row, I had a better idea of what to expect in my position than I did going in last year. With that said, I also came in with a stronger game plan so that I could be very intentional about spending time with God, so I wouldn't "burn out." As a mentor to 32 college-age women, you will face many challenges. This season of life is one filled with many difficulties, hurts, and insecurities. Before the summer began though, I had decided my goal was to be very specific and strategic in my prayers for my women's staff, and in my own prayer life too.

Prayer, in my opinion, is our strongest, and most potent weapon against Satan. Even in this Christ-centered place that I love dearly, I can recognize that we, at Camp Deer Run, are not free from Satan's attacks. In my years on staff I have seen how sneaky the Devil can be by attacking morale, by using comparison, magnifying insecurities, and mixing up strife among the staff. We are not immune to Satan's attacks, and I have made it a personal mission of mine to call Satan out when I suspect he is up to no good.

GOD IS SO GOOD! I will boast gladly because God has been answering prayers in some very unique ways that I would like to share with you now.

One evening I spent some time praying with one of my staff that Satan could no longer use the outside world to ruin her day, her mood, or her attitude. After a few days of receiving bad news during her hour off, we prayed that God would protect her, and not let her receive bad news so that she could focus full-heartedly on the mission at hand. (For those of you who don't know, we only get one hour off a day to check our phones and make contact with the outside world. We enforce this among the staff by keeping cell phones locked in cell jail) The next morning I woke to a frantic staff. Cell jail was locked and they were technology thirsty, and ready to check their phones during their hour off. Thinking that all I had to do was use my key to unlock cell jail, I made my way into the canteen. To my surprise, my key didn't work. Strange, right? Because my key had worked every day prior to this moment. Naturally, I used my radio to call Cason, but his key DID NOT work either. Getting more weird right? At that moment I looked over at my women's staff member, and when our eyes met we couldn't help but think of the prayer we had prayed only a day before. A prayer of protection from the outside world. We ended up calling Drayton, our maintenance man, and he tried EVERY SINGLE key in camp. None of them worked.

NOT A SINGLE KEY WOULD UNLOCK CELL JAIL. We finally ended up cutting the lock off with bolt cutters.

Some would just call this coincidence, or a strange circumstance. Some of my staff think I was out to get them by preventing them from getting their phones for their hour off. To me though, it was an answered prayer. An awesome way that God made himself known to me and to that women's staff member.

Even after she got her phone from cell jail, she didn't receive a single text bearing bad news for the rest of the week. I hope you can feel my excitement here, because our God is alive! Our God answers prayers, even in the form of a locked cell jail.

This is just one example of how God had been answering my prayers this summer. I have so many more that I would love to share. I have been brought to tears and have been chilled with the way prayers are being answered this summer.

Satan can't touch this. I have actually been humming the song in my head most days, because it is a helpful reminder to be to be on guard against the Enemy. In John it speaks of how the Enemy has come to steal, kill, and destroy. Well let me tell you, I'm done with letting the Enemy win. So I'm praying more, praying fervently, and God is answering. I've been sharing this theme with my women's staff too. I tell my 32 girls almost daily that the condition of our knees *figuratively* is a representation of our hearts and our lives. When girls come to be overwhelmed with problems that I can see may be a result of Satan filling their head with lies, I send them to the woods.

It's become a thing actually. Staff left and right are going into the woods to pray and to be with God. It has been an incredible thing to watch, and extremely humbling to me. As a "fixer" I have learned to relinquish the power to God, the ultimate fixer, and I love how he is healing my women's staff. I have loved watching them come back from the woods overwhelmed with God's faithfulness and eager to tell me how he has given them peace or answered a specific prayer.

Satan has tried to interfere with our mission this summer. He has used death, insecurities, comparison, drama, and many other targeted sins to try and distract us from the real mission: letting campers see the light of Christ. So as I tell my women's staff, and as I leave you now, remember Satan Can't Touch This. God has already won the war. Be on guard, and recognize when the Enemy is craftily attacking.

Iron Sharpens Iron

I've been dreading this post for a while now, because I knew it would be hard to write. However, I've never been one to hide my emotions. Over the past four years my blog has served as a creative outlet for me to reflect on the lessons the Lord has taught me, in hopes that my readers will also gain something too. I'm far from perfect, but I truly believe the Lord has been molding me closer to his image throughout my four years at A&M. Through mentors, friendships, opportunities, and many shortcomings I have graduated a stronger woman, and more solid in my faith I believe. Now I still struggle with sin, and I always will. However, I know that I am committed to living a life for the Lord and serving his people.

Yesterday I left College Station, and I cried. It wasn't one of those joyful cries where I was happy to leave, grateful for all of the memories. No, it was one of those ugly cries where your heart hurts for what you're leaving behind. Listening to songs like We Bleed Maroon and My Wish I cried for a good hour as I kept looking back in the rearview mirror.

Yesterday I left a part of my heart in that town where I have grown so much. I truly am joyful and grateful for the ways the Lord has molded me over the past four years, but that didn't make the goodbyes any easier. The saddest part for me was knowing that a majority of the people I love will be staying there for some more time, while I will move to Galveston to begin nursing school. Don't get me wrong, I am so excited about a season of life where I will have to trust in God full-heartedly for everything. For the first time I'm moving without a friend (shoutout to Lucie for being the friend I've done everything with for years), to a city where I know less than five people. I'm taking my dog and a shotgun, but I don't know if those count haha. Also, I'm sad that I'll have to cook for one and won't have to buy chocolate milk or toilet paper for any of my roommates.

I've been extremely fortunate to have the best friends in the world over the past four years. I remember praying for months before I graduated high school that the Lord would provide me with a close circle of friends who would know me, but would more importantly support and encourage me in my faith. WOW. How faithful is our God when I look at the friends I have been blessed with?! Throughout my years in college some have already moved on and graduated. Some married, and some started jobs or grad school. I remember the days they left, feeling sad and heart-broken. Yet, as yesterday was my turn to leave, I felt the heartache all over again.

Man, I sound like a crazy girlfriend writing about a breakup. I know we aren't breaking up, and we sure are not going to stop being friends. Technology will ensure that I know; but I will miss waking up every day curious if I could expect to play nertz that night at the kitchen table, or if I would lie on the couch and watch the office or parks and rec in the afternoon with my roomies.

To my friends reading this, you know who you are. Thank you. Thank you for making me a better person, for putting up with my stubbornness, for eating all of the meals I made and the groceries I bought, for giving me years of memories to look back on, but most importantly for loving me for me. Thank you taking care of me when I was sick or having an episode, and for cheering me on in every milestone event (especially that rainy half-marathon). Thank you for sharing a love for Chuy's, Layne's, and Chick-fil-a. Thank you for helping me laugh through the bad days, but for also knowing when I needed to simply cry and take a hot bath. You each took care of me in such a special way that has bettered me, and has helped me become a better friend.

Above all, thank you for being Jesus to me. Thank you for helping me build my faith, serve others, and for molding me to be more Christ-like. I now know what Proverbs 27:17 means about sharpening others. I also thank you for figuratively living out John 15:13.

This isn't a goodbye, thank goodness! Graduating is an awesome feeling, but most definitely bitter-sweet. Please remember I have a 2-bedroom apartment for just me and my dog in Galveston....so I expect visitors.

I want to end saying that I truly am excited to move to Galveston. The Lord has been so faithful to me, and I fully expect him to continue providing in a new city. As always, I will do my best to keep my blog current, but cut me some slack once nursing school starts!

Suffering

Pain is inevitable in this world, and that's due to the broken nature of the world we live in. Over the past few months I come to really know that the Devil uses sin, death, and disease to war against the souls of God's children. It's heartbreaking yes, but I also take joy in knowing that the suffering we face in the world we live is only a reminder that this world is not our home.Heaven CAN and WILL sustain me, my friends, and my family through the hardships." Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance." James 1:2-3"Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you." 1 Peter 4:12"I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us." Romans 8:18The glory of Heaven that awaits us is unimaginable compared to the present suffering that we face in this world. Whether it is terminal cancer, a broken relationship, or failing a college class, Heaven IS better. Suffering has always been a "foreign" concept to me. As I read through the New Testament about the suffering that New Christians faced and the persecution they endured for their faith, I always found it hard to think of my inconvenient/upsetting life circumstances as suffering. When it comes to the hardships you face at school, or when your new car breaks down, would you consider those circumstances suffering? Hardly not.However, while my circumstances may not compare to the sufferings of others around me, that doesn't mean these circumstances don't inflict pain or that they are easy to deal with. I've come to learn that my problems, my friends' problems, or the problems of the girl's I counsel cannot be compared. What hurts me, may not hurt them, or vice-versa. There is commonality between my suffering and the suffering around me though, and that is that the Devil will use that suffering to drive a wedge between us and God. So I count it joy when I face hardships, or suffering, when I face bad grades, or when my new car sits in the shop for 3.5 weeks, because when things go wrong it keeps me uncomfortable. Now I am not writing to tell you I don't get upset, or hurt, or take things easily. Let's be honest, I get frustrated frequently! But there are days, much like today, where I take joy in knowing that the bad things are a reminder that this world is not my home. I look forward with great joy to the Kingdom of Heaven, where there will be no tears, no fear of the unknown future of the challenges nursing school holds, or bad grades. The thought of Heaven sustains me. 

When You Have Jesus You Have Everything

Several weeks ago at church we watched a video about a woman, Molly Bruno, who is a real life prayer warrior. This woman's dedication to prayer and to Jesus was inspiring to me. Of all the things she said in the short video, one quote has stayed with me.

"When you have Jesus, you have everything."

Over the past few weeks this phrase has really resonated with me. In less than two months I will be a former graduate of Texas A&M. Just yesterday I confirmed my acceptance to University of Texas Medical Branch to pursue a degree in nursing. My life is changing, but I have no fear, because I have Jesus.

I sent a series of pictures to my family, to reveal to them which school I had chosen to attend. Obviously I tried to make it very clear I would be spending my 17 months in nursing school on the beach :)

In my spiritual walk, I seem to go through seasons. Almost like clock-work, do I walk through my valleys and peak on my mountain tops. Camp is always that mountain top for me, and then after the summer I seem to drift away. Come Christmas Break, I wake up ashamed of how far I have slipped. I mean honestly people, I've looked up and realized I hadn't touched my Bible (outside of church) in a week or two. Convicted, I return to my Father, thankful that his hands are always open for me.

"Come near to God, and he will come near to you." James 4:8

As I came back from Honduras, I was on a spiritual high. Determined to come near to God, I began to set aside time every morning or evening to read, pray, and meditate on the word of God. After watching the short video of Molly Bruno's life, I was inspired to lead a life more like her. I want to believe with my entire heart that when I have Jesus, I have everything. So I made a commitment to myself, that I would be more intentional in my walk with Jesus.

I don't know why I am always surprised to see how my life changes or how easier it seems to go when I am spending quality time with Jesus everyday. I've realized over the past few months, that I can't fake my faith. By this I mean, I am tired of living a life of a Christian, when I am not putting in the work behind closed doors.

"I know your works. You have a reputation of being alive, but you are dead. Wake up, strengthen what remains..." Revelation 3:1

Confession: I am guilty of having a reputation of being alive, but being dead on the inside.

However, I believe that I have woken up. The Holy Spirit stirred something in my heart while I was in Honduras, and reawakened my need for Jesus.  Yesterday I happened to have a conversation with a dear friend and mentor. She mentioned to me how she tends to feel a lot like Israel. As you read through the Old Testament you see seasons in their walk too. There were many times where Israel was on fire for God, and then seasons where they strayed away. As she pointed this out to me, I realized that I had more in common with Israel than I had ever noticed before.

So tonight I am thankful. I am thankful that through every season of life, and no matter how far I stray away from God, that he still waits for me to return. I believe Molly Bruno said it best, when I have Jesus, I have all I could ever need.

Honduras 2016

Two weeks ago I began my last semester at Texas A&M, whoop! It was on this last fist day of my first bachelor's degree (such a crazy way to think about it) that I realized all of my training, all of my blood, sweat and tears over the past four years in this town have led me to this semester. This semester is a pivotal one in my life. I will find out if I am accepted to nursing school, and with that news I will move to a new city without any of my friends. For the first time in my life I will live alone, and I will begin a new chapter by myself.  People keep asking me if I am scared about this huge change, but truthfully I am not. I have been praying that the Lord will open and close the doors that will lead me closest to Him. This whole time period has been a true test of patience and trust in the Lord. As many of you know, I spent a part of my Christmas Break in Honduras. The Lord's faithfulness never ceases to amaze me, because what would you know, he used my time in Honduras to teach me more about trusting in Him.

On December 30, 2015, I flew with two very good friend to Honduras. For a few days I embraced the Honduran culture as my friends and I made preparations for camp in Honduras which would begin when the rest of our team arrived. I've been on multiple mission trips, but this one in particular blew them all out of the water. I am thankful for my many experiences spanning two countries, but there was something very different when we began working with Mission Upreach. Maybe it was due to the fact that the missionaries were practically family to me since I am very good friends with their daughter, or maybe it was because we were doing camp in Honduras. Or perhaps it was the fact that my team was made up of my very best friends who I have spent every summer since I have graduated high school serving alongside in the piney woods. Whatever "it" was, it acted as a catalyst for a spiritual epiphany in my life. Even as I stepped off the plane on the very first day, I could feel the difference about the trip. Beyond the usual excitement, I felt a huge wave of peace, as if everything in my life had played out for me to be there at that very moment.

Our trip was wonderful, mostly because of the people. Don't get me wrong I love the country, the culture, and the Chokis (chocolate chip cookies), but the people are what bring it all to life. Counseling a cabin on 9 girls with one of my best friends serving as my translator was a growing experience. I've said it before and I'll say it again, love isn't limited to language. With a Spanish dictionary in hand, I spoke in poorly chopped sentences, often misspeaking. In fact, I accidentally I told my girls that Jesus was a woman, so needless to say Spanish is hard for me. 

Obviously I relied on my dictionary to communicate.

Where I lacked the ability to communicate with my girls in words, I focused on nonverbal communication. I hugged more, played more bang snap clap, and simply showed Christ through smiles and laughter. Suddenly I was free to be my goofy self, because I had no way of explaining my behavior. I was free to almost win a game of neucom, play with water balloons, and sock wrestle without having to justify myself. With Laura, my translator, by my side we sought to teach the girls about the hope they have in Jesus Christ. I was blown away by their trust in God. Their ability to put all faith in God, even when their circumstances were so heartbreaking, was encouraging to me. It certainly made me rethink my own trust in God. How could I look into the eyes of an 11-year old who wasn't sure where her next meal would come from, and preach about trust, when she was so sure that God would always provide? It was convicting, that's for sure. Through my campers I saw Christ. Through their patience with my Spanish and with me, I saw Jesus. I saw Jesus in their ability to simply experience God through the smallest of activities. I saw Jesus in their prayers of thankfulness for the food placed in front of them. I am and will forever be eternally grateful for the way I saw Christ through my girls.

Despite their face, I know they loved us. 

As part of our camp routine, there is always a designated time for the counselors to go and spend 30 minutes in the Word or in prayer. During this time, I found myself going out to a tent where I was able to take in the whole view of the mountains and beauty around me. I found myself praying that God would transform me to be more like my girls, so that I could know and experience the same trust they had in God. I also found myself praying frequently that more doors would be opened so that I could one day return to Honduras. These 30 minutes each day were so rejuvenating. Simply being in the Word of God, and in the beautiful countryside, gave me peace to recognize that even as I left Honduras, my father would still provide for me. I only have to trust in Him.

My time in Honduras will be cherished forever. I am personally grateful for modern technology, so that I have countless pictures and videos to remember my trip by. I am thankful that airplanes fly both ways, and that there is hope of a trip looming in the future. In short, I am most thankful that my girls taught me so much about trusting God in a time of my life where I am having to practice extreme trust. I pray the Lord will open the doors to a nursing school where I can glorify him, even if that means I'm six hours away from home. Just as my girls in Honduras are able to trust in God, I am confident that our Lord will provide for me during this next season of life.

From Morning to Evening

"It is good to praise the Lord and make music to your name, O Most High, proclaiming your love in the morning and your faithfulness at night" Psalm 92:1-2

This scripture has resonated with me recently. It has been written on my hands, my heart and my soul. Every morning of the past 10 weeks I have woken and have praised God for his love. It is God's love that comforts me, and gives me hope of eternal life. As I lay down for bed every night, I am reminded of the Lord's faithfulness. It is all due to his faithfulness that I have made it this far in life. Through the valleys of failed microbiology tests, to the mountain tops of friends who pray for you, I am reminded that every day I walk through life because of God.

Life could not be better.

Every day I go to school, making steps towards a career in nursing. I've started the application process for several nursing schools spanning two states, and I eagerly anticipate what my life as a nurse will look like. I pray for my teachers, my schooling, my future career, and my patients, because I am so eager to serve the Lord through a nursing career. Before I get ahead of myself, I need to graduate from A&M first.

I praise God for the home I am living in. With three wonderful roommates, and two of the most godly landlords, I am so thankful for the safe haven my home has become. There is nothing more relaxing then returning home after a long day of school and work and coming home to women who love Jesus and are excited to share their days with one another. I am thankful for the Bible Study that my landlords started and for quickly opening up their home to a number of college students each week to challenge us and to spend some time in prayer.

I am overjoyed that my job is watching a 20 month old baby boy. Through dirty diapers and many bananas, I am privileged to watch him grow up. I am thankful for the way his family has taken me in, allowing me to grow in my life experiences.

Aggies for Christ has become a spiritual refuge. In the past 8 weeks I have grown in my faith, and I praise God that he led a new college minister to AFC. I am thankful for time in the word with AFC, and for evenings at church where we eat cereal and talk about Jesus.

Blue Bell also has a way of making life sweet, quite literally too.

So like I said, life could not be better. Senior year is supposed to be stressful, scary, and uncertain. However, I am reminded daily of the ways that God is working in my life. So I can't help but praise the Lord for his love and his faithfulness.

Brother Bear

For 9 weeks now I have had a radio clipped to my backpack. I answer to the name Brother Bear, and I love it. For 9 weeks I have answered to many different radio calls.

"What's your 20?"

"Brother Bear the honey is here."

"Brother Bear we need ______ (fill in the blank with anything and everything)."

"Brother Bear do you have time to wash my jeans for Outcamping?"

What I love the most about my radio calls is the person on the other end. The boys, or should I say men, that call me have truly become my brothers. I have spent nine weeks with six men of God. Our friendships have grown as we have learned to work together. Our friendships are based on a foundation of a common love for God. We have spent countless hours together in prayer both early in the morning and late into the evening. I have become desensitized to bodily functions such as farting and poop, because as the lone girl in a wolf pack I learned early on to accept it. I have laughed more with these boys as we all have learned to navigate new leadership roles this summer.

Have I mentioned that these men of God spend every day loving on children and leading groups of 40 of them towards Christ? It isn't easy being a leader for children, but I would argue that it is even more difficult to lead your peers. My brothers aren't perfect, and neither am I. We have all stumbled as we do our best to navigate a path that isn't always easy. Some nights I am brought to tears with my frustrations, but through it all we have each other.

I know how my brothers love their hamburgers packed. I know when to expect a bad mood based on the day's circumstances. I know when to speak and when to listen. I know what they like on their pizza. Heads up the next one is gross: I even have come to know what their farts smell like.

So I've established, I know these boys like my brothers. Working with them this summer has been a major blessing, and most definitely a highlight of my summer.

This summer my title is the Head Women's Counselor. I have "counseled" 30 Proverbs 31 women this summer. I have been their friend, their mentor, and their advocate. I plead their cases and feelings to boys who sometimes just don't understand emotions. I pray for them and with them daily. I take care of their needs, and try my best to make their job easier. I help them with difficult campers, deal with homesickness, and a number of other little things.  I get to have fun with them, bring them necessities at Outcamping, and build relationships with them. Sometimes I even get to kill snakes with my best friend. 

"Was this in the job description?" 

This is a question I laugh about frequently. For a number of reasons I'll find myself in a particular situation wondering how I could have even prepared for whatever I am doing. Through it all, I find myself praising God that I am able to work at camp. Whether I am washing loads upon loads of laundry, or cleaning the kitchen every night, praise God that I am able to humbly serve Him through it all.

This summer has been an incredible one for me. I have been humbled and I have seen so much growth in my spiritual walk. I have been convicted this summer more than any other summer. Living in the world is a difficult task for a Christian, and I haven't been doing the best job I could be doing.

Saving souls should be a natural part of our lives, and I have never taken that with such seriousness as I have this summer. This summer one of our themes was to build up the body towards Heaven not Hell. Just in the past two weeks alone, we had 24 baptisms. In one day we had 18! While numbers are not relevant, I found myself in tears. Children are coming to the Lord, and are putting Him on in baptism. The joy of coming to Christ was contagious. Tears rolled down my face as I watched many children make the best decision of their life. 

This is what working at Camp Deer Run is all about. Serving one another in love and sharing the good news. I contribute most of my spiritual growth to Camp Deer Run, and to this day I will be forever grateful that I have had the opportunity to continue this mission. Since 2002, camp has been a part of my life. While I don't know what the future holds, I look forward to finding ways to always give back to a little church camp in the middle of the piney woods of East Texas.